The Truth About Peace and Child Loss — A Guide for the Holidays
Peace isn’t the end of grief—it’s proof that God is near.
What if peace didn’t mean the end of grief, but the beginning of something deeper?
So many moms tell me, “I finally had a moment of peace—but then guilt rushed in and took it away.”
Friend, that moment of peace is not a sign that you’re moving on.
It’s proof that God is moving in you.
Today I want to show you how peace and grief can actually coexist—how God can bring calm right into the middle of the ache, and how allowing yourself to rest doesn’t mean you’re forgetting your child. It means you’re trusting God to hold what only He can hold—your child’s eternity.
You can miss your child deeply and still feel His presence. Peace doesn’t mean you’ve stopped grieving. It means God is holding you right there in the messy middle of it all.
The Weight of the Coat
I remember the first time the heaviness of my loss lifted—just a little.
You know that heaviness, friend. It’s like wearing a thick wool coat in the rain. The water soaks in until the coat is heavy and cold, and before long it’s hard to even sit up straight under the weight of it.
That’s what grief feels like.
Then one day, for just a moment, it eases. And instead of relief, you feel…strange. You wonder if you’re doing something wrong. You’ve gotten so used to the weight that peace feels foreign, maybe even wrong.
You might even laugh for the first time—or smile—and instantly feel guilty, as if you’ve betrayed your child by letting a little light in.
But peace doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving your child. It means you’re letting God lift the weight, just enough for you to breathe again.
Peace and Grief Are Not Opposites
If you’re still wearing that heavy coat because you’re afraid taking it off means forgetting your child—oh friend, no.
Peace and grief were never meant to compete with each other. They are companions on the same road.
Grief keeps love alive.
Peace reminds you that love is safe in God’s hands.
You can cry in one moment and smile in the next without betraying your love.
That’s the beautiful tension of living between heaven and earth.
When peace comes, it’s not signaling that your love is fading. It’s proof that your heart is learning how to live with both grief and grace.
The Work God Is Still Doing in You
Peace isn’t reserved for those who have everything figured out.
You don’t have to fix your life before peace can enter it.
Sometimes peace is a whisper in the middle of tears.
Sometimes it’s a still calm that you can’t explain—but you know He’s there.
That’s the Holy Spirit wrapping you in His presence.
“I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” — Philippians 1:6 (NLT)
If your feet are still here, God still has work for you to do.
Your child’s work is finished, but yours is not.
One of the hardest parts of grief is realizing there are parts of our story we can’t fix. We long for answers that may never come this side of heaven. But peace deepens when you stop fighting for control and start trusting that God is already in your story. He’s already in your future—and He holds it all.
Let the Peace of Christ Rule
“And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body, you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” — Colossians 3:15 (NLT)
That verse doesn’t say you have to be thankful for your child’s death.
It says to let the peace of Christ rule—to let it become a resting place, not something you manage or earn.
When you stop trying to control peace and simply receive it, it becomes more than a feeling. It becomes a home for your soul.
Peace isn’t a reward for reaching the end of grief.
It’s evidence that you’ve placed your heart in the hands of the One who will never let you go.
The Promise of Peace
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” — John 16:33 (NLT)
Peace doesn’t remove the storm—it reminds you who’s in the boat with you.
And when Jesus is in the boat, friend, the waves know His name.
That small glimmer of peace you feel? It’s not wrong. It’s not a betrayal of your child. It’s proof that God is still writing your story.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
You can listen to this full message on The Grief Mentor Podcast:
Episode 229 — “The Truth About Peace and Child Loss — A Guide for the Holidays.”
Next Steps
Friend, if your heart feels especially heavy as the holidays approach, I want to help you find peace in the middle of it.
🎁 Holiday Flash Offer — Peace for the Holidays
Through November 22, book a 1:1 Grief Mentor Session and receive my new printable guide:
Peace for the Holidays — A Simple Plan for Grieving Moms.
In our time together, we’ll talk about what this season brings up for you and create a plan that helps you breathe again—one that honors your child and makes space for peace.
👉 Book your session here
💛 Join the Waitlist for The Grief Roadmap
If your heart is whispering that you need community, you’re not alone.
The next round of The Grief Roadmap opens after the first of the year, and the waitlist is now open for both new and returning moms.
When you join, you’ll be the first to know when enrollment begins—and you’ll receive early-access bonuses before the doors open.
👉 Join the waitlist here
You don’t have to face the next season alone. God is already walking with you, and I’d be honored to walk beside you too.
