🌿 Why Grief Feels So Exhausting – What to Do When You’re Worn Out After Losing a Child
💔 “I can’t do this anymore.”
Have you whispered those words recently?
Grief isn’t just emotional—it’s exhausting.
And when there’s no finish line in sight, when the waves just keep coming, it’s no wonder you feel like you’re barely holding on.
You show up. You try to function. Maybe you even smile here and there.
But inside, your heart is begging for relief.
In today’s reflection, I want to speak directly to that kind of weariness—the kind that doesn’t go away with a nap or a good cry. The kind that comes when you’ve been carrying something no mother should ever have to carry.
The picture at the top of this post was taken in January, on my birthday, 2019, just a few short months after Andrew’s death. It’s difficult for me to see this picture and the forced smile that appears on my face. Its a reflection of the pain and exhaustion that had taken over my life.
The exhaustion of grief is real and I know because I have lived it.
Let’s talk about what that kind of exhaustion really is… and what you can do when it feels like you’re too tired to keep going.
⏳ There’s No Finish Line in Grief—and That’s What Makes It So Hard
We can get through almost anything when we know there’s an end in sight.
When you’re training for something, working toward a goal, or going through a difficult work situation, you push through the hard parts because you know relief is coming. You can circle the date on the calendar and tell yourself, “I just have to make it until then.”
But grief?
Grief doesn’t give you a date.
It doesn’t come with a timeline.
There’s no finish line that says, “You made it. You’re done now.”
And when there’s no obvious end to the pain… that’s when the exhaustion really begins to settle in.
You start wondering:
- Is this how I’m going to feel forever?
- What’s the point of trying if nothing changes?
- How am I supposed to live like this every day?
Friend, the truth is—grief doesn’t fade on a schedule.
This isn’t something you get over.
It’s something you learn to live with—one breath, one day at a time.
But when no one tells you that?
When you’re still hoping time alone will fix it, or that things will just “get better” after a few months…
You start to feel like you’re doing something wrong.
Like you should be farther along by now.
That lie is what leads so many grieving moms to give up—not because the love for their child is gone, but because they’re emotionally, spiritually, and physically worn out.
🧩 You’re Not Just Grieving—You’re Carrying More Than Anyone Can See
Grief isn’t just one emotion.
It’s a deep, layered weariness that touches every part of you.
Most people around you only see the surface.
They might notice the tears or the quiet moments…
but they can’t see what’s happening underneath.
They don’t feel the weight you’re carrying in your mind, your spirit, or your body.
Because grief isn’t just sadness.
It’s mental, physical, spiritual, and relational.
It touches every part of your identity.
You’re trying to:
- Wake up each day in a life you didn’t choose
- Navigate memories that ambush you like landmines
- Understand who you are now that your child is no longer walking beside you
- Carry the tension between wanting relief and fearing what that actually looks like
And through all of that… you’re probably still trying to hold it together for the people around you.
Friend, this kind of exhaustion isn’t weakness—it’s soul depletion.
It’s the natural result of walking through something no mother was ever meant to carry alone.
So if you’ve found yourself thinking, “I just can’t do this anymore,”
Please know: you’re not failing.
You’re surviving the unimaginable.
And even though it doesn’t feel like it—God is still with you in it.
🙏 What God Says When You’re Too Tired to Keep Going
So what do you do when you’re completely worn out?
When your faith feels thin…
Your body feels heavy…
And the grief just won’t let up?
The world may tell you to “stay strong.”
To fake a smile.
To keep pushing through.
But God never asked you to be strong.
He invites you to be honest.
When you’re too tired to keep going,
He’s not asking you to go farther—
He’s asking you to come closer.
He’s not waiting for you to figure it all out.
He’s not standing on the other side of your grief saying, “Hurry up and get here.”
He’s with you right now, in the middle of your exhaustion.
And He’s offering something you don’t have to earn:
Grace.
💬 “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
– 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)
These words were spoken to Apostle Paul,
a man who was pleading with God to take away his pain.
Instead of removing it, Jesus answered Paul with this truth:
“My power works best in weakness.”
And that same promise is for you.
When you surrender your strength—He meets you with His.
💬 “I Just Needed Someone to Help Me Keep Going…”
Recently, I sent out a survey to my listeners asking what you most needed in your grief right now.
And one response stopped me in my tracks.
She wrote:
“I want to know how you navigate your grief daily… what tools helped you in the early stages… who you called in your darkest days… and how you handled the triggers, the regrets, the moments when your grief felt different than your spouse’s.”
I could feel the desperation in her words.
Not because they were dramatic—but because they were real.
Raw. Honest.
And if you’ve ever found yourself asking those same questions…
You’re not alone.
That’s why I started The Grief Mentor Podcast.
That’s why I continue showing up week after week.
Not with answers, but with truth. With tools. With hope.
And with real stories from real moms who know exactly what this pain feels like.
Moms like Rebecca.
Rebecca lost her son, CJ, and her world shattered.
She questioned if she could survive—let alone keep going.
But something shifted when she stepped into a space where her pain was seen, her thoughts were challenged, and her heart was supported in a way the world just couldn’t provide.
Here’s what she shared after going through The Grief Roadmap…
Hi, I am Rebecca CJ’s mom tragically. My son passed eight days after his 17th birthday. My life stopped. My life shattered. Life became chaotic. We have five kids to try to guide through this intense pain. CJ was the oldest of six kids. Just to breathe was difficult, much less survive the days ahead. The grief roadmap was a godsend.
Literally, I did not know how we’re going to survive. Or even if I wanted to, the deep, dark thoughts, the pain is all consuming. The questions that play like a record player over and over, the blame, the guilt, the what ifs is too much to bear. Theresa, the grief mentor through the grief roadmap taught me to take every thought captive before they consume me.
She taught me to speak truth. Are these thoughts edifying? Are they true? Are they biblical? The grief roadmap taught me this, and so much more boundaries, especially when people say such cliches or platitudes that hurt, or friends who you thought would be there but are not. Theresa taught me to calm my mind, to ground myself, to fill the grief, but do not stay there, especially when triggered.
Oh, so many triggers everywhere. This is such a hard and terrible journey to be on. I am grateful God brought Theresa and the grief roadmap into my life. Will life ever be free of pain and emptiness? The heartache. Probably not, but I am better equipped how to get through by what Theresa taught me.
 Breathing, feeling and praying, speaking truth, grounding myself. It is hard work, but it works. Thank you, Theresa, for the grief roadmap. Life will be hard without CJ. Some moments are still all consuming, but knowing we are one day closer to heaven, being reunited helps me take the next step. If you are lost alone grieving, do not hesitate to join the grief roadmap.
It is as if Theresa can read your thoughts. She has been there in the trenches and is surviving and helping others through the same. The people you meet become your friends and your lifeline. They know and understand the depth of your pain because they’re filling it too.
You are in a safe environment to say what you what you are truly feeling where you cannot say anywhere else or else you’d be judged. I hate being part of this group, but so grateful for it. Do not hesitate to join.
🌤️ When You’re Worn Out, God Is Not
Friend, if you’re emotionally and spiritually exhausted right now,
please hear this:
You are not doing this wrong.
You are walking through something no mother was ever meant to face.
And even if you feel like you’ve hit your limit—God has not.
He’s not disappointed in your weakness.
He’s not surprised by your collapse.
He’s not waiting for you to pull yourself together.
He’s right there in the middle of it—ready to carry you.
You don’t have to perform.
You don’t have to prove anything.
You don’t even have to know what the next step is.
You can rest.
You can breathe.
And you can begin to trust that even in the exhaustion…
God is still working.
📖 Isaiah 40:29–31 (NLT)
“He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.”
đź’› Ready for More Support?
If this post spoke to your heart and you’re longing for something more—
a space to feel seen, a path to follow, and a community that understands…
I want to invite you to join me inside
The Grief Mentor Workshop — a free 3-day experience for grieving moms who are holding onto faith, even if that faith feels fragile.
We’ll talk about why grief feels so heavy, how to recognize what’s holding you back, and how to take your next step without letting go of the one you love.
✨ The workshop is free!
👉 You can register here: The Grief Mentor Workshop-August 11-13th, 2025., or find more details in your email, if your a Grief Mentor Insider-any If your not yet a Grief Mentor Insider-why not? See the link in the side bar.
And if you haven’t listened yet, this blog post was inspired by
🎧 Episode #196: Why Grief Feels So Exhausting – What to Do When You’re Worn Out After Losing a Child
Listen to the full episode here:
👇 I’d love to hear from you—drop a comment below and share what part of today’s post resonated most with you.
✨ When grief brings something you never expected…
When your child dies, you expect the heartache.
You expect the tears, the silence, the ache that never fully leaves.
But what about the moments you didn’t expect?
No one prepares you for those.
The friend who quietly stays.
The worship that rises through your tears.
The purpose that somehow grows out of pain.
It feels strange to call anything a “gift” in the aftermath of loss.
But sometimes, grief uncovers treasures that were hidden in the darkness all along.
Isaiah 45:3 (NLT) says,
“And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.”
💔 What I expected… and what I didn’t
I expected grief to feel like chaos.
I expected to wake up each day to a world that felt unrecognizable—and it did.
But I didn’t expect how deeply I would come to love the people who stayed.
I didn’t expect that tears would become worship.
I didn’t expect that peace could sit side by side with pain.
I didn’t expect to hear myself say “I love you, Jesus”—and actually mean it.
I didn’t expect that out of the ache of losing Andrew…
God would lead me to live with more purpose than I ever imagined.
🙏 God’s kindness often shows up quietly
Sometimes the most unexpected moments whisper the loudest:
“You are not alone.”
“God is still here.”
“There’s more ahead than just sorrow.”
These moments won’t erase your pain—but they do remind you that grief doesn’t get the final word.
Hebrews 13:5 (NLT) says:
“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”
And Exodus 34:6–7 reminds us exactly who God says He is:
“Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.”
When we wonder who He is in our suffering, He answers:
I am still the God of compassion.
I am still the God of mercy.
đź’› What unexpected gift has grief revealed to you?
Maybe it was a conversation.
A moment of stillness.
A sunrise that felt like your child was near.
A strength that caught you by surprise.
Whatever it is—pause. Let yourself feel it. Let gratitude and sorrow mix together.
And if you feel led, I’d love to hear about it.
Comment below and let me know:
What have you experienced in your grief that was unexpected… but now you’re so grateful for?Sometimes what you didn’t expect becomes what you treasure most.
🌿 Memorial Day Sale Extended
My one-on-one Grief Mentor sessions discount has been extended. If your soul is weary and you need one-on-one support, now is the time.
💛 Book a session here →Grief Mentor Session-Memorial Day Special Extended
đź•Š Join the Grief Roadmap Waitlist
The next round of The Grief Roadmap, my 12-week Christ-centered group program, begins this August.
Together we’ll process the pain, rebuild your identity, and find purpose again—one guided step at a time.
đź’» Join the waitlist today-link in side bar.
Listen To The Full Episode Here:
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