Restless Soul After Child Loss? How to Find Peace
✨ When nothing seems to quiet the ache inside…
Have you ever felt like your soul is restless, thirsty, like nothing that you do seems to help. I know after Andrew died, that’s exactly how I felt. Maybe you feel the same way. Maybe your mind never stops racing. Your heart never stops aching, and your body never truly finds rest. Welcome back to The Grief Mentor Podcast.
Today we’re gonna take a look at a piece of scripture that I want you to see today and hear with fresh eyes, because I’m gonna teach you what it means to be led beside still waters. What does that mean? That’s what we’re gonna talk about today, friend.
My precious babies💖
Andrew and Sarah on our land @ the original home place in 1990, he was 4 and Sarah was 3.
1️⃣ Psalm 23 — Seeing It With Fresh Eyes
Psalm 23 (Amplified version):
“The Lord is my shepherd to feed and guide and shield me. I shall not want. He lets me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still quiet waters. He refreshes my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his namesake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me. Your rod protects me, your staff guides me and they comfort and console me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You have anointed and refreshed my head with oil. My cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell forever in the house and in the presence of the Lord.”
Those words hold such weight, don’t they? But sometimes we hear them without really understanding the depth of what David truly meant. W. Phillip Keller, the author of A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, wasn’t just a writer. He was a real life shepherd. He cared for sheep in Canada, and his book takes us into the daily life of a shepherd so that we can see this psalm through fresh eyes.
2️⃣ He Leads Me Beside Still Waters
In chapter four, He leads me beside still waters, Keller shares truths that speak right into the exhaustion of grief.
“Although sheep live in dry semi-arid country, they still require water… It will be noticed that here again, the key or the clue to where water can be obtained lies with the shepherd. It is only he who knows where the best drinking places are. In fact, very often he is the one who with much effort and industry, has provided the watering places and it is to those spots that he leads the flock.”
“But before thinking about the water sources themselves, we do need to well understand the role of water in the animal body and why it is so essential for its wellbeing. The body of an animal such as a sheep is composed of about 70% water on average… Water determines the vitality, strength and vigor of the sheep, and is essential to its health and general wellbeing. If the supply of water for an animal drops off… desiccation sets in…”
“Any animal is made aware of water by lack of thirst… Now, just as the physical body has a capacity and need for water, so scripture points out to us clearly that the human personality, the human soul, has a capacity and need for the water of Spirit of the eternal God.”
When sheep are thirsty, they become restless and set out in search of water. If not led to good water supplies—clean, pure water—they will often end up drinking from polluted potholes where they pick up internal parasites, liver flukes, or other disease germs.
And in precisely the same manner, Christ our good shepherd made it clear that thirsty souls of men and women can only be fully satisfied when their capacity and thirst for spiritual life is fully quenched by drawing to himself.
📖 Matthew 5:6 (NIV)
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”
At the great feast in Jerusalem, Jesus declared boldly, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.” To drink in spiritual terminology simply means to take in or to accept or to believe. This is to say, it implies that a person accepts and assimilates the very life of God in Christ to the point where it becomes part of him. Don’t miss that, friend.
“The difficulty in all of this is that men and women who are thirsty for God… often are unsure of where to look or really what they’re looking for… and in their dilemma, they will drink from any dirty pool to try and satisfy their thirst for fulfillment.”
Keller explains deeper that sheep will often drink from muddy, contaminated water because of their desperation to find anything that will help. And these puddles carry disease and never truly satisfy. Isn’t that just like us in our grief? When our souls are searching, we’re tempted to grab onto any kind of quick fix—unhealthy distractions that lead us to places that do anything but refresh our souls. They don’t heal us, friend. The only thing that truly heals us is Jesus—the Living Water.
St. Augustine wrote, “O God, Thou hast made us for Thyself and our souls are restless, searching till they find their rest in Thee.”
3️⃣ Dew at Dawn, Wells, and Streams — How He Provides
Keller: “Generally speaking, water for sheep came from these main sources: dew on the grass, deep wells, or springs and streams.”
“Most people are not aware that sheep can go for months on end—especially if the weather is not too hot—without actually drinking, if there is heavy dew on the grass each morning. Sheep by habit rise just before dawn and start to feed… The early hours are when the vegetation is drenched with dew and sheep can keep fit on that amount of water when they graze just before and after dawn.”
“Of course, dew is a clear, clean, pure source of water, and there is no more replenishing picture of still waters than the silver droplets of dew hanging on leaves and grass at the break of day… In the Christian life it is of more than just passing significance to observe those who are often the most serene, most confident, and most able to cope with life’s complexities are those who rise early each day to feed on God’s Word.”
“It is in the quiet early hours of the morning that they are led beside the quiet still waters… One comes away from these hours of meditation, reflection, and communion with Jesus refreshed in mind and spirit—the thirst is slaked and the heart is quietly satisfied.”
Keller also describes deep wells: owners bailing water in the heat—hard, heavy work. As I read, I want to point something out here, friend: peace doesn’t come from circumstances magically improving. It comes because the Shepherd makes a way for us—even when life feels chaotic. He is carving out a place for you to rest.
Sometimes that looks like a verse that meets you right where you are. Sometimes a trusted friend who helps you be grounded. Sometimes a podcast that helps you see what the Word of God really means—where you can finally come to a place where you can rest in His presence despite your circumstances, because He’s made a way for you, friend. You don’t have to force this. He provides it for you.
4️⃣ Led in Dark Places (But Not Alone)
Keller goes on to say: “In the Christian life… many of the places we may be led into will appear to us as dark, deep, dangerous, and somewhat disagreeable. But it must be remembered that He is there with us in it. He’s very much at work in this situation. It is His energy, His effort, His strength expended on my behalf that even in this deep, dark place is bound to produce a benefit for me.”
“It is there that I will discover He only can satisfy me… Dignity and direction come into the events of my life, and I see them sorting themselves into a definite pattern of usefulness… All of this is refreshing, stimulating, and invigorating.”
Of course, there will always be a percentage of perverse people who will refuse to allow God to lead them. Keller tells of sheep led past a magnificent mountain stream—pure, crystal water—who stopped instead to drink from small, dirty, muddy pools beside the trail: filthy and polluted with churned-up mud, manure, and urine. Still, those stubborn sheep were sure it was the best drink available—though it would riddle them with parasites.
Friend, I want you to hear me. Keller emphasizes the danger of choosing what looks easy instead of what’s safe. The world will offer you a hundred muddy puddles to drink from. Self-help that skips Jesus. Unhealthy distractions that promise relief, but only leave you wanting more. Numbing behaviors. Seeking out people who mean well, but they can’t satisfy the ache in your soul. The Shepherd offers you something altogether different when we grieve God’s way.
There is a vast valley between the way the world grieves and the way God invites us to grieve. The things of this world that give you momentary comfort—momentary relief—will never truly satisfy your soul. His water doesn’t just quench for a moment. It restores your soul.
5️⃣ The Spirit With You—Right Now
“To offset these dangers and guard against them, God invites us to allow ourselves to be led and guided by His own gracious Spirit.” Jesus’ teaching in John 14–17 shows us the Holy Spirit would be given to lead us into truth—to come as a Guide and a Counselor always. He would make us see that life in Christ is the only truly satisfying life.
Brenda (friend), I just have to stop right here and point something out to you. As grieving moms and dads, we have our sights set on heaven—and I’m right there with you. But everything I’ve read to you is available to you right now. John 14–17 is Jesus preparing His disciples to live without Him: “This is how you do it.” He said He would send Someone to live in you. He’s in us and we are in Him. That is the only way we can do this. He’s the vine; we are the branches. Without the vine, we will wither and dry. The life you desire is waiting for you inside the presence of the Holy Spirit.
This book I’ve been reading from—A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23—breaks down each phrase of the 23rd Psalm. It’s not just a comforting poem, friend. It’s a promise. The Shepherd knows exactly what your heart needs, and He knows how to lead you there. Don’t settle for muddy water.
And when he talked about what the sheep do in the early morning hours—the dew on the leaves—and refreshing your heart and mind in the early morning hours with the presence of the Holy Spirit: Friend, that’s the key. Before you start your day, give it to Him. Quit trying to do it in your own strength. Quit trying to figure it out on your own. Proverbs 3:5–6.
If life feels overwhelming to you today, whisper: “Lord, lead me to Your still waters.” He hears you and He sees you, and He will restore your soul.
Final Encouragement
For more encouragement, listen to the full conversation on The Grief Mentor Podcast — Episode 212: Restless Soul After Child Loss? How to Find Peace.
🎧 Listen next on The Grief Mentor Podcast:
- 🎧 Listen next on The Grief Mentor Podcast:
- Episode 181: One Habit That Changes Everything: How to Start Your Day With Jesus After Child Loss
- Episode 190: What I Didn’t Expect After Loss (But I’m So Grateful For)
- Episode 197: Faith After the Funeral — Why What You Believe About God Changes Everything
- Episode 191: A Glimpse of Heaven in the Everyday: What Grieving Moms Need to See to Keep Going
- If today’s message stirred something in your heart and you’re longing for a safe place to talk through your grief with someone who understands, I invite you to book a Grief Mentor Session. Together we’ll walk toward the still waters your soul is searching for.
Select quotations and insights in this post are drawn from W. Phillip Keller’s classic book, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23. Shared here for devotional reflection.
