When You Believe in God but Can’t Find Him After Child Loss
When Faith Remains but God Feels Distant
If you believe in God but can’t find Him in the middle of your grief, you’re not alone.
Maybe that’s where you find yourself today.
You still believe.
You still pray.
You’re holding on to your faith as tightly as you can.
But your grip feels like it’s slipping.
God feels harder to hear.
Harder to locate.
Harder to feel.
If that’s been your experience, I want you to know something right away.
You are not alone.
In fact, this place — believing in God while feeling unable to find Him — is deeply biblical.
Grief has a way of bringing us here.
To the place where we still believe, but God feels unreachable.
Today I want to help you make sense of that ache.
When God Feels Absent in the Middle of Your Pain
For many grieving moms, one of the most confusing parts of grief is not simply the pain of losing your child.
It’s the silence that sometimes follows.
You pray.
You open your Bible.
You try to reach for the God you’ve trusted your entire life.
And instead of comfort, you feel distance.
Your prayers feel flat.
Your heart aches for understanding.
And the disconnect feels disorienting.
Because the one place you expected to find safety — the presence of God — suddenly feels quiet.
I want you to hear something important.
This experience is not a failure of your faith.
It is something many grieving hearts walk through.
When Andrew Was No Longer Walking Beside Us
I understand this place personally.
When Andrew was no longer walking beside us the women from my small group Bible study — women I loved deeply and had spent years teaching and mentoring — showed up at my door.
They brought a large basket filled with gifts.
But what mattered most wasn’t what was in the basket.
It was their presence.
They sat with me in my living room and let me cry. We wept together. They witnessed the depth of my pain in a way words cannot fully describe.
When they left, I sat alone in my living room and began going through the items they had brought.
Inside that basket was something that became an anchor for me.
A blanket.
It had been knitted by a 90-year-old woman — the mother-in-law of one of the women in my Bible study.
She had spent her life serving in the church, and her ministry was knitting blankets for people who were hurting.
As her hands stitched each row of yarn, she prayed.
She sang hymns.
She prayed for the person who would one day wrap themselves in that blanket.
When I picked it up, I felt something immediately.
I wrapped that blanket around my shoulders, and it became an anchor for my soul.
I slept with it.
I carried it with me everywhere.
When my husband had shoulder surgery at the Cleveland Clinic just months later, that blanket came with me to the hospital waiting room.
Looking back now, I realize people probably saw a grown woman walking around wrapped in a blanket.
But at the time, I didn’t care.
Grief changes what matters.
Because in those early months, I could not hear God’s voice.
I could not feel His presence.
And that blanket became a bridge that held me through the silence.
When You Need Something Tangible to Hold Onto
You may not have a blanket knitted by a faithful 90-year-old woman.
But sometimes grieving hearts need something tangible to hold onto.
Something that reminds us that God has not abandoned us, even when His voice feels quiet.
For me, that blanket became a symbol of faithfulness.
The obedience of a woman who prayed over every stitch became a reminder that God was still working, even when I could not see Him.
And that’s where scripture began to speak to my heart.
When Job Asked the Same Question You’re Asking
Listen to these words from the book of Job:
Job 23:2–4 (NLT)
“My complaint today is still a bitter one,
and I try hard not to groan aloud.
If only I knew where to find God,
I would go to his court.”
Job believed in God.
Job was known by God.
Job was loved by God.
And yet he still said:
“If only I knew where to find Him.”
Not being able to find God is not a flaw in your faith.
It is a biblical experience.
Job continues:
“My complaint today is still a bitter one.”
Some grieving moms feel bitterness.
Not all — but some do.
I did.
And Job doesn’t hide it or soften it.
Bitterness here is not rebellion.
It is pain rising to the surface when we do not yet have words to explain it.
Then Job says something else many grieving hearts understand:
“I try not to groan out loud.”
Isn’t that the pressure we often feel?
The pressure to somehow hold it together.
To stay strong.
To keep our grief contained so we don’t make others uncomfortable.
But Job’s grief was too heavy to hide.
And finally he says:
“If only I knew where to find God.”
He believed in God.
He just couldn’t find Him.
Friend, that place is not uncommon in grief.
When God Feels Silent, He Is Still Listening
Job’s questions were held by God long before the answers came.
That’s one of the things we sometimes miss when we read the book of Job. We have the advantage of looking in the rearview mirror.
But when Job was living through his suffering, he didn’t have that perspective.
God allowed Job to speak for 37 chapters before He responded.
Thirty-seven chapters of questions.
Thirty-seven chapters of grief.
Thirty-seven chapters of searching.
And God listened to every word.
He is listening to your broken heart too.
He hears every prayer.
He sees every tear.
He knows the ache you carry for your child.
Even when you cannot feel His presence, He is still near to the brokenhearted.
When Faith Looks Like Knocking on the Door
Before we close today, I want to leave you with a simple question.
Scripture tells us that when we knock, the door will be opened. But grief has a way of leaving us standing there wondering where God is in the middle of our pain.
So let me ask you the same question I asked in this episode.
What side of that door are you standing on?
Are you knocking, waiting for God to open it?
Or is He knocking, waiting for you to open the door to Him?
Sit with that question for a moment.
Sometimes faith in grief doesn’t feel strong or confident. But even when God feels distant, He has not abandoned you. Your questions are not pushing Him away — they are often the very thing drawing you closer.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
Listen to the full episode on The Grief Mentor Podcast.
If you believe in God but feel like you can’t find Him right now, this episode will help you understand why that experience is more common — and more biblical — than you may realize.🎧 Episode 254:
What To Do When You Feel Faith Slipping and God Feels Absent After Child Loss
Next Steps/Mentoring
✨ GRIEF MENTOR SESSIONS
If your heart feels lost in this season of grief and you’re struggling to make sense of where God is, I would be honored to walk beside you in a 1:1 Grief Mentor Session.
These sessions provide a quiet space for you to share your story, ask your hardest questions, and receive compassionate mentorship grounded in faith and understanding.
Together we explore your grief, seek clarity through scripture, and take steady steps toward healing.
👉 Book your session: Here
👉 Resources: Here
The Grief Mentor Podcast
Teresa Davis
Your Grief Mentor
