How Do I Stop Fighting My Grief?
When Grief Feels Like a Battle You Must Fight
Finding Rest After Child Loss — Part 1 of 4
How do I stop fighting my grief after child loss? Many grieving moms quietly wrestle with this question.
Have you ever felt like grief is a battle you have to fight every single day?
Like if you stop for even a moment—if you experience peace, rest, or even a small moment of enjoyment—you might somehow be betraying your child.
As if choosing rest means you are letting them down.
But what if the battle you’re fighting isn’t the one you think it is?
I want to show you something powerful in Scripture. Because in one moment in the Bible, when people were terrified, trapped, and unable to move forward, God gave them one simple instruction.
And that truth may change the way you carry your grief.
When Your Heart Is Too Tired to Keep Fighting
Some days in grief feel heavier than others.
There are days when your heart feels raw, when even simple things require more strength than you feel like you have.
On those days, complicated advice or long explanations aren’t what your heart needs most.
What helps instead are small, steady truths you can hold onto.
Simple reminders that protect your heart and keep you anchored in God’s Word when grief feels overwhelming.
Today I want to focus on one truth that many grieving moms struggle to accept:
You have permission to rest.
Because grieving moms are exhausted.
Not just physically tired.
Soul tired.
Heart tired.
You are carrying grief, and memories.
The ache of waking up another day when your child is no longer walking beside you.
And underneath all of that weight, there is often an unspoken pressure that keeps you fighting when your heart desperately needs rest.
The Pressure Grieving Moms Carry
During the grief gathering I hosted at the end of February, we talked about the three hidden layers of child loss.
On the second day we spent a great deal of time on one particular layer—permission.
Because learning to live again after child loss often rests inside that one large bucket.
Permission is complicated.
Sometimes our permission to grieve becomes tied to other people’s expectations.
Sometimes it becomes tied to our own expectations of ourselves.
Sometimes it is shaped by what we were taught growing up about grief, strength, or faith.
And all of that pressure eventually leaves grieving moms completely exhausted.
That is why this series exists.
Because listening to podcasts or attending gatherings is only the beginning.
Transformation happens when we take what we are learning and begin putting it into practice.
The Battle Many Grieving Moms Feel
Many grieving moms live in a constant emotional battle.
There is often an unspoken belief that says:
- If I rest…
- If I have a peaceful day…
- If I experience joy again…
Then maybe I didn’t love my child enough.
So we keep fighting.
Fighting the memories, the guilt, and the future we never expected to face.
But Scripture offers us a different picture.
In Exodus 14:14, God spoke to His people at a moment when they were completely trapped.
Pharaoh’s army was behind them.
The Red Sea stood in front of them.
There was no visible way forward.
And in that moment, God gave them a simple instruction:
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
— Exodus 14:14 (NLT)
When God Fights the Battle
Think about that moment.
The Israelites were terrified.
They were being chased.
They felt trapped.
Does that sound familiar?
Grief can feel exactly like that.
Like something is constantly chasing you.
Memories chasing you.
Guilt chasing you.
Fear about the future chasing you.
But God’s message to them was simple.
The Lord will fight for you.
Your job is not to win the battle.
Your job is to be still.
Sometimes the most faithful thing a grieving heart can do is stop fighting for a moment and allow God to carry what we cannot.
God’s Design for Rest
We see this pattern throughout Scripture.
In the book of Genesis, after creation, the Bible tells us that God rested on the seventh day.
Not because He was tired.
God rested to show us something important.
Rest is part of God’s design for life.
It is His way of reminding us that we are not meant to carry everything all the time.
Even grieving hearts need moments where they can breathe.
Moments where they can pause, where they allow God to hold what feels too heavy.
Rest does not mean you love your child less.
It does not mean you are leaving your child behind.
Rest means you are trusting God to carry the battle you cannot win on your own.
Permission and Practice
So today I want to give you both permission and practice.
Permission first.
You have permission to rest your heart today.
And now the practice.
Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Step away from the noise of your grief.
- No phone
- No scrolling
- No trying to solve anything.
Just sit quietly with God in prayer.
- Maybe on your porch.
- Maybe in your car.
- Maybe early in the morning before the house wakes up.
Hold your physical Bible in your hands.
Open it to Exodus 14:14.
Let that verse rest on your lap.
And when your mind begins to wander—and it probably will—look back at that verse and say it out loud:
“The Lord will fight for me. I need only to be still.”
Every time your mind drifts, come back to those words.
This is how we begin to retrain our minds—with the truth of God’s Word.
If tears fall while you sit there, that is okay.
That is not weakness.
That is intimacy with God.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
Listen to the full episode on The Grief Mentor Podcast.
In this episode, Teresa shares why many grieving moms feel like they must fight their grief every day—and how God invites them to experience rest instead.
🎧 Episode 262
How Do I Stop Fighting My Grief? Finding Rest After Child Loss — Part 1 of 4
Next Steps/Mentoring
✨ GRIEF MENTOR SESSIONS
If you feel overwhelmed by grief and unsure how to move forward, I would be honored to walk beside you in a 1:1 Grief Mentor Session.
These sessions provide a compassionate space where you can share your story, receive guidance grounded in Scripture, and begin taking steady steps toward hope and peace.
👉 Book your session: Here
👉 Resources: Here
With care and prayer,
Teresa Davis
