How Do I Know My Child Is in Heaven?
YOUR DOUBT IS NOT THE END OF YOUR FAITH
For the mother who needs to see it with her own eyes.
How do I know my child is in heaven? If you have ever asked that question, you are not alone.
It rises up in the quiet. In the dark. In the middle of an ordinary day, out of nowhere.
And if your child went to heaven through suicide or through addiction, that question doesn’t just visit you. It lives with you.
There is a man in Scripture who carried a question like yours. He stood in front of his closest friends and refused to pretend. And instead of being condemned for it, he was met — exactly where he was.
His story may change what you do with your doubt. Will you walk through it with me?
THE DISCIPLE WHO REFUSED TO PRETEND
Thomas has become my favorite disciple.
Yes — that Thomas. The one who has always gotten a bad rap.
After Jesus was crucified, Scripture records that He visited the upper room where His disciples were hiding, because they were afraid. The first time He revealed Himself, He walked right through a closed door, to their amazement.
But Thomas wasn’t there.
When Peter and John told him, “Look — He’s risen, just as He said,” Thomas answered:
“I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.” (John 20:25)
Let’s sit here for a minute, because this is important for us as grieving moms.
The second time Jesus appeared in that upper room, the only conversation Scripture records is the one He had with Thomas. He walked through that closed door, went straight to him, leaned in, and said, “Thomas — it is Me. See. Look. Touch My hands. Touch My side.” (John 20:26–28)
And Thomas exclaimed, “Lord, I do believe. It is You.”
Here is what I have learned through the eyes of grief: Thomas was honest. He didn’t follow the crowd. And I don’t see anywhere in Scripture where he was condemned for that.
Jesus met him exactly where he was.
WHEN EVERYTHING IS READY
Now let’s look at John chapter fourteen, when Jesus was saying His goodbyes.
We can’t really wrap our minds around how difficult this was. These men had given up everything to follow Jesus — to be taught by Him, to learn from Him day and night. They were with Him through all of it.
This was a painful moment for them. And He knew it.
So Jesus, in His love and compassion, sat down with them and said:
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.”
— John 14:1–3, NLT
Did you catch it? When everything is ready.
We as grieving moms want it right now, don’t we? Right now. Instantly. We want everything the Holy Spirit has for us in this moment.
But Jesus said: “when everything is ready.”
That’s what happens in the waiting.
THE MOMS THIS WORLD PUT A STIGMA TO
Why does this matter so much?
Because what I hear over and over from the moms I walk beside is uncertainty. Is my child really in the arms of Jesus, Teresa?
And this is especially true for the moms whose children left this earth by suicide or by addiction — things this world puts a stigma to.
But hear me now. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ walked outside the lines of that stigma.
Don’t believe me? Pay attention to who He healed. Pay attention to who His heart was drawn to. All through His three years of ministry on this earth, He went to the people who were outcast — the people who were not seen by society as worthy.
Please hear this, my sweet moms who are walking this road of suicide and addiction:
Jesus is for you. In every possible way.
This is what He says: “When the time is right, I’m coming for you.” And only Jesus knows when the time is right.
I AM THOMAS — AND MAYBE YOU ARE TOO
There is one more conversation between Jesus and Thomas that I cannot wait to share with you.
When Jesus told the disciples, “You don’t have to worry — you know the way to where I’m going,” Thomas was standing there, hanging on every word. And he was the first one to speak up. I can just see him raising his hand:
“No, we don’t know, Lord. We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
— John 14:5, NLT
That’s me. And maybe that’s you.
Because we have been thrust into a life we don’t understand — one that looks unfamiliar — and we’re grasping for answers. One voice says, “I’ve got the answer over here.” You go down that path, and your heart is left longing. Another says, “No, no — follow me.” And in the end, you find out they’re all wrong.
This is exactly why I teach that we need to learn how to grieve God’s way. His way is the one that leads to life.
Listen closely to Jesus’ response to Thomas:
“I am the way, the truth, and the life. — John 14:6a, NLT
In one short statement of nine words, He gives you the answer. Truth lives there. And His truth is the only truth that leads to life.
HE WAS ALREADY SPEAKING OVER YOU
Before Jesus left that upper room, He said one more thing. After Thomas touched His hands and His side and cried out, “My Lord and my God,” Jesus looked at him and said:
“You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.”
— John 20:29, NLT
That’s you and me.
Thomas got to see with his own eyes. You and I don’t. You can’t see where your child is right now. There is no way to reach out and touch them or verify it the way Thomas did.
And Jesus knew that. Standing in that upper room, He was already speaking over every mother who would one day have to trust Him without physically seeing.
That’s a miracle. When Scripture says He goes before us and comes behind us — that He hems us in (Psalm 139:5) — this is what it’s talking about. Jesus is already in your future. He put those words in that room for you.
Jesus didn’t condemn Thomas for his honesty. He met him in it. And then He turned around and blessed you.
So here is one small step for this week. When the doubt rises — and it will — be like Thomas. Be honest with Him. Raise your hand and say, “Lord, I don’t know the way. Please show me.”
Because that is the kind of honesty He meets. Every single time.
He is the way. Truth lives there. And His truth leads to life — for you, and for your child, who is more alive in this very moment than they have ever been.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
If these words have met you where you are today — meet Teresa inside this episode where she pours her heart into every word.
🎙 Episode 309: How Do I Know My Child Is in Heaven? Assurance for a Grieving Mom
Walk into the upper room with Teresa as she shares why Thomas has become her favorite disciple, what Jesus said about “when everything is ready,” and why the mother who cannot see where her child is today is the very one Jesus is ready to meet — exactly where she is.
Next Steps/Mentoring
✨ Calming the Chaos
Do you want to go deeper?Calming the Chaos was created for you — for the mom lying awake asking, “Is my child really with Jesus? Did I love them enough? Will I ever feel like myself again?” Three hours of faith-based teaching, broken into small sections you can process at your own pace, with a workbook that reinforces every step. It’s self-paced on purpose — so you can sit in the slow simmer of what He is teaching you. Right now, you can step inside at 50% off.
👉 Step inside Calming the Chaos here
With care and prayer,
Teresa Davis
