I’ll See You Soon: How to Live in the Waiting After Child Loss
THE SEPARATION IS REAL. BUT THE SEPARATION IS NOT FOREVER.
You believe you will see your child again. This is about the years between now and then.
The waiting after child loss is the part nobody prepares us for.
We are told our children are safe. We are told we will see them again. And both of those things are gloriously true.
But then everyone goes home.
And we are still here — holding a promise that feels like it belongs to somebody else in some far-off future.
You can believe every word of it and still have no idea what to do with tomorrow.
I want to sit with you in that distance today.
Just to look together at what is actually true inside of it.
The Words I Say Every Single Day
I have pictures of Andrew all over my house. Probably just like you do.
And every single time I pass one of them, I say the same thing.
I’ll see you soon, bud. I love you so much. I’ll see you soon.
I have been saying it for years now.
It gives me comfort. It gives me hope.
Because when I say those words, I am reminding myself of something I know to be true. Andrew is not only in my past and in my present.
He is in my future.
And then there are the days I stop in front of one of those pictures and my eyes well up — and I can see it. I can see him walking right through that door, like the seven years of separation I have lived never happened at all.
Seven years. And they simply disappear.
That is what I believe eternity is going to be.
What Changed in a Parking Lot
I want to share something with you that my husband, Tony, teaches. This belongs to him, and he shares it often. He gave me permission to share it with you here.
It was around our first year without Andrew walking beside us. And if you have walked through a first year, you already know — that one-year mark is so, so difficult.
Tony was sitting in a parking lot, waiting for his counselor’s appointment.
And while he sat there, he was praying. He was lamenting.
He said, Lord, I cannot believe it’s been one year since I heard Andrew’s voice.
And the Holy Spirit whispered to him. Not audibly — but in his spirit.
Tony, you’re not one year farther away. You’re a year closer.
Sit with that for just a second.
Same year. Same three hundred and sixty-five days. He still had to get through the holidays, the birthday, the anniversary of the worst day of his life.
Nothing about that calendar changed.
What changed was the direction he was facing.
Jesus Never Asked You to Pretend
I am not going to tell you that if you just had enough hope, the waiting would stop hurting.
That is not true. And you knew that, the moment you read it.
Jesus never asked us to pretend that death doesn’t hurt.
The people you are doing life with might ask you to. They may say things like you need to focus on the good, or you need to start living your life again — as though you could take your grief, stuff it in your pocket, and act like none of it ever happened.
But that request has never come from Him.
Whose voice are you listening to?
Because here is what I know to be true.
Jesus stood at the grave of a man He loved very much, and He wept — because the sisters of that man were pouring their hearts out to Him in lament.
He was about to raise him from the dead. He knew exactly how the story ended.
And He wept anyway.
Jesus sits with us in our pain.
I just returned from a speaking event in Illinois, and that was my entire message to the hurting mothers in that room. It is a good place to land any time we find ourselves wondering whether He truly cares.
Hope does not erase our grief.
Hope informs grief that death is not the end of our story.
What “Soon” Actually Means
Here is where truth lives in the waiting.
“So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”
2 Corinthians 4:18, NLT
This is not telling you to ignore your troubles. That is not what it says.
In my opinion, it is telling us to embrace them. Take them to the Lord. Let Him show you how to work them out and how to live in this space.
But while you are doing that — fix your gaze on what cannot be seen.
Did you catch our word in there? The things we see now will soon be gone.
He is not calling your waiting short
Paul is not saying that ten years without your child is short or the next 20, 30, or 40 years that your facing feels short.
No one who has stood where you and I are standing would ever call this waiting short.
He is not telling you to look away from what hurts, either. He names the troubles and knows exactly where they are.
What he is doing is showing us what comes next.
Because here is how you and I measure this separation. We measure it in birthdays. In Christmases. In the anniversaries that arrive every year whether we are ready for them or not.
We measure it in how many years it has been — and then we do the math on how many might be left.
That is the only ruler we have here.
But God is not using our ruler.
He measures against forever. And measured against forever, these years — however many there are, however heavy they feel — have an ending.
Eternity does not.
So soon was never a description of how the waiting feels.
Soon is a description of what kind of thing this separation actually is — it is temporary.
Living Again Without Leaving Your Child Behind
There is a place in Scripture where Paul writes to grieving hearts. And it has been handed to those that grieve in the wrong light.
He is not telling us to not grieve.
He is telling us that when we belong to Jesus, we grieve as people who have hope.
“Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord… Then we will be with the Lord forever.”
1 Thessalonians 4:17, NLT
And then he adds this:
“So encourage each other with these words.”
1 Thessalonians 4:18, NLT
He wrote all of it for our comfort.
It was never meant to shame you away from feeling what you feel. It was meant to change something about how you carry today.
So here is what it changes.
Knowing where this story ends means you do not have to put your life on hold until you get there.
There are people in your life to love.
Your days still hold purpose.
There can still be beauty, and laughter, and meaningful work, and rest, and good things that show up when you are not expecting them.
And I want to say this as plainly as I know how.
Living does not mean leaving your child behind.
You are not moving away from your child by continuing to live. You are not leaving that love behind. Nor are you leaving your memories behind.
Instead, you are honoring them as you live your life.
You are moving toward eternity — forward-facing, saying all the while, Yes, Lord. I don’t know how to do this. Will you show me?
He stood with Martha and Mary in their pain, weeping, knowing their story was not over.
He is standing with you in yours right now — weeping, and as he continues to write the rest of your story.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
If these words have met you where you are today — there is more waiting for you in this week’s episode.
🎙 Episode 313: I’ll See You Soon: How to Live in the Waiting After Child Loss
In this episode I walk you through the whole of it — the pictures in my hallway, what the Holy Spirit whispered to Tony in that parking lot, and what Scripture actually means when it uses the word soon. If you have been holding a promise you believe with your whole heart while having no idea what to do with tomorrow, this one is for you.
Next Steps/Mentoring
✨ Calming the Chaos
Ready to begin learning how to live alongside your grief?
If you’re wondering how to face tomorrow, how to make space for what you’re feeling, and how to begin living again without feeling like you’re leaving your child behind, I invite you to join me inside Calming the Chaos.
This self-paced course gives you the space to work through what’s happening beneath the surface of your grief instead of continuing to push down what you don’t know how to process.
Through the teaching and 26-page companion workbook, I’ll help you uncover what’s in your heart and begin learning how to grieve God’s way — while discovering how to carry your grief as you continue to live the life God has given you.
👉 Join me inside Calming the Chaos
With care and prayer,
Teresa Davis
