4 Tips For Summer Travel While Grieving.
What does summer mean to you? Here in the USA, summer is often a time of fun, relaxation, and release from the daily grind. It’s a season where routines are eased, and vacations bring joy. But for those grieving the loss of a child, summer can carry a heavy burden. The idea of travel may not bring excitement but instead serve as another painful reminder that life is no longer the same.
If this resonates with you, stay with me as we discuss how to manage travel this summer, how it can be beneficial, and what to avoid.
The Grief Mentor Support Group Meeting
Before we dive in, I want to extend an invitation to join us for The Grief Mentor Support Group for child loss. We meet monthly on the third Thursday of each month. It’s free to join, I sincerely hope you’ll join us. You need us, and we need you. To attend click the link in the side bar to register. I send the link for the meeting 1 hour before we begin every month.
How Travel Affects Your Grief
Travel impacts grief differently depending on:
- Where you are in your grief journey.
- Your personal relationship with travel—whether it has been a source of joy or if you find comfort in familiar surroundings.
- Your destination and its connection to your child.
Travel can offer a temporary distraction, providing a much-needed break from isolation and allowing you to see life through a different lens. It can also be therapeutic and restorative, giving space to process emotions in a new environment. However, it’s essential to prepare yourself for unexpected emotional challenges.
A Personal Story
The year after my son Andrew died, we returned to our longtime vacation spot. Our entire family spent a week together, and afterward, my husband Tony and I stayed an additional week. Initially, it seemed like a good idea—until our family left. Suddenly, I felt lost and alone. Memories of Andrew flooded my mind, making it unbearable. We attempted to leave early, but affordable flights weren’t available. Instead, we decided to stay and manage our grief one small step at a time. It was challenging, but in hindsight it proved to be beneficial. It allowed undistracted space to move through the emotions that surfaced. This created a space for Tony and I to focus on our grief together. We cried and laughed as the memories surfaced and the comfort that brought was good for our marriage.
If you’re dreading vacation, here are some tips to help you manage:
Strategies for Coping While Traveling
Read aloud to your travel companion. One of my favorite memories was reading to Andrew during a road trip—we couldn’t wait to continue the story after each stop.
Journaling
If traditional journaling feels intimidating, try writing poetry, sketching, or even composing a letter to your child. Allowing your brain to relax when you’re out of the everyday grind of life, will create a space where the words flow unrestricted.
If there was unfinished business between you and your child and you’ve been holding that trauma inside allowing it to create a deeper wound, consider writing a letter to your child and then having a fire burning ceremony as a symbolic act of release. This could be done around a campfire, or if you can’t build a fire where your at, put it in a glass bottle, put the lid on it and release it in a body of water, such as a time capsule.
Spa Treatments
Therapeutic touch can be incredibly healing while mourning.
A massage or spa day can help relieve built-up tension.
Physical Activity
Take a walk on the beach and let the waves wash over your feet.
Go on a nature hike and allow the scenery to uplift your spirit. Take long deep breaths and allow the fresh air to fill your lungs with hope.
Exercise of any kind releases endorphins, improving mood and reducing stress.
Engaging Your Mind
Listen to an audiobook or uplifting music while driving.
Preparing for Travel After Child Loss
- Expect waves of grief – Memories may surface unexpectedly. Be prepared to acknowledge and manage them with tools that will allow you to feel them but not be overwhelmed by them, such as “If” “Then” statements. This is a method I teach my students to manage triggers that can turn a devastating trigger into a manageable memory. This process allows you to build on your experience and train your mind how to respond.
- Modify traditions – Try something new rather than repeating traditions exactly the same way when your child was still walking beside you.
- Have a plan – Having structured activities can reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. Balance is key here depending on what “vacation” means to you. Leisure vs activities is a personal choice, however, facing each day of your vacation without structure may create too much space to focus on your grief. The key is to allow that space but define it so that it doesn’t lead you into despair.
Grief isn’t something we get over, we learn to live alongside it, slowly, one step at a time. Travel, when approached with care, can be a beneficial healthy distraction to help you manage your grief.
A Final Encouragement
“A joyful, cheerful heart brings healing to both the body and soul.” – Proverbs 17:22
Give yourself permission to laugh. Enjoy an ice cream cone, take a late-night beach walk, watch the sunrise, and soak in the beauty of nature and God’s creation. If you’re looking for an uplifting series to watch, I recommend The Chosen, a Christian historical drama based on the life of Christ. It’s a powerful and hopeful series that will leave you feeling encouraged.
You are not alone. If you need support, visit the side bar and find all the resources I offer to support you. My heart’s desire is to walk with you on this journey, help you learn the tools you need in managing your grief and believe that YES! Life is still worth living and you can do this with hope in your heart and peace for the journey.
Until next time, take care.
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