Angry that Your Child Died? Guess What? God Is Angry Too!
Are You Angry?
Did you have to stop and think about that for a minute, or did you belt out a resounding, “Yes! I’m angry!”
Friend, I have not yet met a grieving mom or dad who didn’t feel anger after the death of their child. Even if they didn’t realize they were angry.
Anger shows up in unexpected places when you’re grieving, but if you keep reading today, you’ll find out you’re in good company if you have experienced anger after the death of your child.
Is Anger a Sin?
Anger is an emotion given to us by our Creator.
Did you have to stop and think about that for a minute?
Our society often tells us that anger is bad. Maybe even your faith leaders have told you that anger is bad. But let’s break this down a bit. Anger is not a gift of the Spirit, but it is a very real emotion that is demonstrated by God Himself throughout Scripture. We are created in His image, and as His children, we experience anger too.
Here’s what our Creator says about anger:
“Don’t sin by letting anger control you.” — Ephesians 4:26 (NLT)
The Amplified Version expands on this:
“Be angry at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior, yet do not sin.”This verse shows us the heart of God—He demonstrates anger toward immorality, injustice, and ungodly behavior. And friend, the death of your child is an injustice. It is unfair. Death is an enemy of God.
Who Are You Angry At?
- Are you angry at God like I was?
- Are you angry because your child died, and it’s not supposed to be this way? (That’s actually the title of a great book by Lysa TerKeurst.)
- Are you angry at your child for leaving too soon?
- Are you angry because you were robbed of the life you expected with your child?
You have God’s permission to be angry.
Do you believe that? Because it’s true. If we are made in the image of our Creator, and God feels anger, then my friend, you have His permission to be angry too.
The question remains: What do we do with our anger?
Managing Anger in Grief
Ephesians 4:26 continues:
“Yet do not sin, do not let your anger cause you shame, nor allow it to last until the sun goes down. And do not give the devil the opportunity to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, nurturing anger, harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness.”
Anger needs to be witnessed in our grief. That means:
Expressing anger in healthy ways—bottling it up will only lead to an explosion.
Allowing yourself to observe your anger but not be consumed by it.
Verbalizing your anger to a trusted friend, counselor, or grief mentor.
How can you release anger in a healthy way?
- Physical exercise—walk, run, lift weights, do yoga. Let your body process the emotion.
- Journaling—write it out, let the words flow, even if they feel raw.
- Pray and surrender—tell God how you feel. He already knows, but he wants to hear it from you.
Have you heard the term “giving the enemy a foothold”?
Picture someone gripping your foot so tightly that you can’t move forward. That’s what anger does when we don’t process it—it keeps us stuck in our grief.
Martha’s Story
This week, I had a precious soul reach out to me—her name is Martha. She has been following the podcast for some time.
In September 2021, her husband passed away. Just two and a half months later, in December 2021, her youngest daughter died. She described this season as the deepest depression she had ever experienced.
She shared her journey with me and a poem she wrote about where she was then and where she is now. And this is what she said about how God used The Grief Mentor Podcast in her journey:
“As I was riding down the road one day and everything looked so dark and bleak, the thought came to me that I was seeing everything through the eyes of grief. I remember when I first started listening to your podcast, and I could see that you had come a long way in your grief journey. I knew it was possible, but at that time, I had to wait on God to bring me into that place of recovery that He had prepared for me. Praise His Holy Name!!”
Friend, God’s plan is to bring you into a spacious place, to rescue you because He delights in you.
How do I know?
**Psalm 18:19 “He brought me out into a spacious place: he rescued me because he delighted in me.” NIV **
The God of Heaven’s armies is on your side. He is angry toward the injustice you’ve suffered because of the death of your child. Death is His enemy, and it’s our enemy too as grieving moms and dads.
But never forget this—because God loves you and your child so much, He allowed His own Son to die so that we could have eternal life with Him and with our children.
Need Someone to Talk To?
Do you need someone who gets it? Someone who understands anger in grief?
I’m here for you, friend. I’m just a click away.
Visit thegriefmentor.com to find all the resources I have that can support you.
Your healing starts here.
Until next time, take care. 💙
