Truth or Lies After Child Loss? A Simple Faith Filter to Guard Your Heart
Part 1 of 3: Discerning Truth from Lies
📣 1) When the World Is Loud and Your Heart Already Aches
When the world is loud and your heart already aches, it’s hard to tell what’s true.
This is part one of a three-part series on discerning truth from lies, especially after child loss. Today, we’re going to build a simple faith filter — something kind and practical you can use to vet what you read, what you see, what you listen to, what others speak into your life, and what you start to believe about God.
It will also help you vet what you believe about your child and about your future — so the loudest voice isn’t the one leading you, but the voice of the Holy Spirit is the One you follow.
In Part 2, we’ll learn to recognize the three voices most predominant in our hearts and minds. In Part 3, I’ll teach you how to structure your day so you stay close to the Word of God.
Friend, discerning truth from lies is hard even when we’re not grieving. In grief, it becomes even harder. That’s why we need a filter.
📚 2) Why You Need a Filter: Three Places to Vet What You’re Absorbing
When you’re grieving the death of your child, life becomes chaotic. Hearts and minds are like sponges. Even if you’re not trying to absorb something, you will — if you keep exposing yourself to it. That’s why we start by filtering what we take in.
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”
— Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
(1) What you read and watch.
News on your phone. Social media posts (Instagram, Facebook, X). Books, articles, and endless searches looking for something to speak to your heart.
(2) What others speak into your life.
Friends, family, people at church, your pastor. Podcasts and sermons you pull up by searching isolated topics when you’re desperate for help.
“Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.”
— Ephesians 4:14 (NLT)
(3) What you accept as truth about God, your child, and your future.
This may be the most important. What you accept as truth is how you will live your life. Everything you take in must be vetted by the Word of God.
🧭 3) Your FAITH Filter — F: Fix Your Thoughts Where God Says
We’ll use the word FAITH as our filter.
F — Fix your thoughts where God tells you.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
— Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
Ask: Does this help me fix my thoughts on truth? Or does it fuel fear, despair, and anger?
Is it pushing me closer to God’s voice — or dragging me down that dark tunnel?
✝️ 4) FAITH — A & I: Ask for Wisdom, Inspect the Source (and the Voice)
A — Ask for wisdom.
“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”
— James 1:5 (NLT)
Before you take something on as true — a post, a grief quote, a conversation, even a sermon — pause and ask: Holy Spirit, what do You say about this? Is this producing fruits of the spirit in my life? What is my next right step?
I — Inspect the source and the voice (including your own).
“Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God…”
— 1 John 4:1 (NLT)
Not every loud thought is a lie — Nor is every loud thought true. The enemy can disguise his voice to sound like your own. Vet the voice:
- Is it accusing, urgent, or absolute (“always,” “never”)? That’s not the Holy Spirit.
“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” — Romans 8:1 (NLT)
- Does it invite peace and bring clarity? Does it align with Scripture? That’s the Shepherd.
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” — John 10:27 (NLT)
“But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.” — James 3:17 (NLT)
🛡️ 5) FAITH — T: Test the Fruit
My dad used to say, “Sis, make sure to test the fruit.” We had an orchard. Apple trees make apples. Peach trees make peaches.
In the same way, truth bears good fruit; lies don’t.
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
— John 10:10 (NLT)
Ask after you take something in — a grief quote, a post, a podcast, a conversation:
- Do I feel peace, clarity, steadiness?
- Or does it push me toward the panic button, shame, or division?
If it is not full of peace, hope, and the trustworthiness that comes from the anchor we have in Christ, reject it.
🙏 6) FAITH — H: Hold On to What Is Good (Hand Back the Rest)
“Test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every kind of evil.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:21–22 (NLT)
“Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth.”
— John 17:17 (NLT)
When you take something in from any of those three areas, ask: What part agrees with God’s Word? That’s what you keep. Then decide: What must I release? Hand back what isn’t true — even if it sounded comforting in the moment.
You may need to revisit this FAITH filter more than once. Write it down. Keep it close. Practice it gently.
F — Fix your thoughts
A — Ask for wisdom
I — Inspect the source and the voice
T — Test the fruit
H — Hold on to what is good (hand back the rest)
Remember: Not every voice gets a home in your heart. You are the only one who can guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
🌟 7) A Simple Prayer for Today
“Lord, guard my heart above all else, for it determines the course of my life. Give me wisdom for what I read, hear, and think today. Help me test everything and hold on to what is good. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
I’m with you — one small step at a time. 💛
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
What you’ve read here is just part of the full conversation we shared on the podcast. If you want to hear the scriptures read aloud and the heart behind each reflection, press play on the Spotify player below to listen to Episode 215 of The Grief Mentor Podcast.
🎧 Listen Next
- 🌿 Episode 214: Despair After Child Loss? A Christian Mom’s Path to Living with Hope. (your most recent “hope vs. despair” anchor)Apple Podcasts
- 🌿 Episode 176: What I Need You to Know: Expressing Needs and Setting Boundaries After Child Loss. Great complement to today’s “guard your heart” theme. Apple Podcasts
- 🌿 Episode 168: Feeling Abandoned by God? Why Mary Magdalene Stayed—and How to Hear His Voice Again. Perfect fit for “discerning truth vs. lies” and “hearing God’s voice.” God’s Apple Podcasts
🌿 Next Steps
Choose one scripture from this post and carry it with you as your anchor.
Visit the sidebar of my blog page for more support — book a private Grief Mentor Session, join the monthly support group, grab the free Grief Survival Guide.
Share this post with another grieving mom who needs a steady voice today.
