Part 2 of 3: Discerning Truth from Lies

📣 When the Voices Get Loud in Grief

When your heart is already carrying the weight of a child who is no longer walking beside you, every voice can feel loud and confusing.

By “every voice,” I mean the things we open ourselves up to — the news, someone’s opinion about our child’s death, the way others think we should manage our grief. What about social media and grief quotes? I have a lot to say about grief quotes. Then there are the things you listen to — podcasts, even your own thoughts at 2:00 AM.

So my question to you today is this: Which voice are you following?

This is Part 2 of a three-part series on how to discern truth from lies when you’re grieving the death of your child. Today we’re going to learn how to recognize God’s voice using a simple biblical litmus test to tell the truth from the noise.

🌿 A Quick Recap from Part 1

Last time, I introduced you to the FAITH filter — a way to test the voices around you:

• F — Fix your thoughts on what God says:“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
  — Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
• A — Ask for wisdom:“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”
  — James 1:5 (NLT)
• I — Inspect the source of the voice.
• T — Test the fruit of what you’re hearing.
• H — Hold on to what is good and release the rest.

Today we’ll focus on “I” and “T”: inspecting the source and testing the fruit.

Friend, it’s good to talk about our grief. It’s good to voice what we feel. But action silences doubt. The voice you allow to lead you will shape the outcome of your grief journey.

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✝️ Recognizing the Shepherd’s Voice

Let me ask you a question. If I played a recording of your child’s voice alongside two others, could you pick it out? Of course you could.

We waited for those first words — Mama, Dadda. As their vocabulary grew, we learned their tone, their cadence, the way they said our names. If you were in a crowded room and heard “Mom,” you knew instantly if it was your child’s voice.

Why? Because recognition comes through relationship.

Now hold that picture for a moment.

How well do you know the voice of God? Would you recognize it in the middle of competing voices?

Jesus said:

“The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.”
— John 10:3–5 (NLT)

When we’re grieving, there are so many voices: the headlines, the people around us, even the church community, our own thoughts, and the enemy himself. And the enemy is a counterfeit. He mimics the Shepherd’s tone, deceiving us into believing his lies.

But friend, God’s voice is knowable. Just like you learned your child’s voice over the years, you can learn to recognize the Shepherd’s voice through His Word and His Spirit.

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🛡️ The Enemy’s Voice vs. God’s Voice

The Bible gives us a clear warning:

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
— John 10:10 (NLT)

“…For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth — the one who accuses them before our God day and night.”
— Revelation 12:10 (NLT)

The enemy thrives on accusation. Especially after child loss, he will whisper condemning thoughts: “This was your fault.” “You’ll never heal.” “You don’t deserve peace.”

God’s voice, however, always brings comfort, clarity, and truth. He offers conviction where needed, but never condemnation. His voice leads you toward peace, even when He asks you to take a hard step.

How do we tell the difference? By the fruit.

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🍎 The Fruit Test: What Every Voice Produces

Paul gives us the standard:

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
— Galatians 5:22–23 (NLT)

When a voice speaks — whether it’s your own thoughts, the words of others, or the enemy’s lies — pause and ask:

• Does this voice bring me peace, or does it stir fear and urgency?
• Does it align with Scripture, or contradict it?
• Does it produce gentleness, kindness, and hope — or does it accuse, shame, and condemn?

If it grows the fruit of the Spirit, it is the Shepherd. If it leads to chaos, shame, or despair, it is not.

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📚 Be Careful What You Absorb

Paul also warns us:

“Test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every kind of evil.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:21–22 (NLT)

That means you have permission to reject anything that doesn’t line up with God’s truth. Even well-meaning friends or family. Even things that sound comforting at first but leave you with no hope.

Some examples:

• Grief quotes. Many sound relatable, but they leave you in despair with nowhere to go. If a quote doesn’t anchor you in hope, set it aside.
• Headlines. News cycles are designed to stir fear. If scrolling weighs down your heart, turn it off.
• Other people’s words. Even church friends may share clichés or opinions that don’t match Scripture. You don’t have to let every voice take root.

Not every voice deserves a home in your heart.

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📝 A Practical Exercise for Your Thoughts

Here’s one way to take your thoughts captive:

1. Write down a sentence — maybe, “I’ll never feel joy again” or “This was my fault.”
2. Underneath it, create three lines:
   • God’s voice?
   • My voice?
   • The enemy’s voice?
3. Test that thought against Galatians 5:22–23. Does it produce love, peace, patience, or self-control? Or does it produce fear, shame, or hopelessness?

Psalm 42:5 gives us the pattern:

“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!”
— Psalm 42:5 (NLT)

This is how we reshape our inner dialogue with truth.

A Simple Prayer for Today

“Lord, help me recognize Your voice above all others. Quiet the noise of the world, silence the accusations of the enemy, and reshape my own thoughts by Your Spirit. Teach me to hold on to what is true, good, and life-giving. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

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🎧 Listen to the Full Episode

What you’ve read here is only part of the conversation. To hear the scriptures spoken aloud and the heart behind them, press play on the Spotify player below to listen to Episode 216 of The Grief Mentor Podcast.

🎧 Listen Next:

• 🌿 Episode 213: Grief, Faith and Charlie Kirk’s Enduring LightApple Podcasts
• 🌿 Episode 214: Despair After Child Loss? A Christian Mom’s Path to Living with HopeApple Podcasts
• 🌿 Episode 210: God Let Me Down When My Child Died-How Can I Trust Him Now?Apple Podcasts

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Next Steps

• Choose one scripture from today’s post and carry it with you this week.
• Visit the sidebar of my blog page for more support: book a private Grief Mentor Session, join the monthly support group, or download the free Grief Survival Guide.
• Share this post with another grieving mom who needs clarity in the middle of grief’s noise.

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