Grieving Mom: Lesson’s Learned In The Hard Places of Child Loss
He has been refining you since the day your world changed — even on the days you could not see His hand at all.
If you have been listening to the podcast for a while and you have wondered, where do you go from here, this conversation is for you.
Maybe you have cried through an episode in your car.
Maybe you have thought to yourself, she gets it.
And then the episode ended, and you were still sitting there wondering what your next step is.
Several of you have written to me over the last few weeks asking that very question in different words. When are the doors to the Grief Roadmap opening? What do I do while I wait? Where do I even begin?
I want to answer you today.
But before I tell you what has changed, I have to tell you how I got here.
THE DAY I LASTED LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES
Right after Andrew went to heaven, we went back to church immediately.
We had a lot of support, and we wanted to be there.
But it felt awkward. It felt weird. And I felt eyes on me.
I know you know exactly what I mean, because you have told me.
And I remember thinking, I just need to serve.
I knew I could not serve the way I always had. But serving had always been so much a part of who I was.
So I went to the administrator over the greeting. I thought, well, that is a safe place to be. I can just greet people.
We have greeters at more than one door, and I decided I wanted to be at the door that led into the sanctuary.
I thought it would be a really good thing for me. I would get to see people. It would be easy. It would not require anything from me.
I was so wrong.
It was a disaster. I lasted less than five minutes.
People were coming in the door, and they would see me, and they would stop, and they would want to hug me.
Before I knew it, I was in a puddle. A complete mess.
I had to walk away.
I share that with you because I want you to know something about the woman writing to you right now.
The person God has shaped and refined me to be, from day one of my grief journey until this moment — I am not that same person.
And I could spend an entire afternoon telling you every single mistake I made along the way.
But hear me.
That is where The Grief Mentor programs came from. Everything I teach you, He taught me first.
The Holy Spirit knew. He knew what He was shaping in me long before I understood any of it.
And when I look back now, I can see His hand gently guiding me. Holding me.
When all I had were tears.
WHEN TEARS ARE ALL YOU HAVE
I remember when I was right where you may be sitting right now.
I could not sing. Worship felt impossible.
My tears were my worship.
If that is where you are today, lean in and hear this.
Even if tears are the only thing you can express right now, you are still worshiping.
You are among the body of believers. You are experiencing what it is to be held by the Spirit when tears are all you have.
Some of you are reading this thinking, well, Teresa, I have not quite reached the doors of a church yet. It is just too hard.
I hear your heart. I understand that more than you know.
There is no shame in where you are standing today.
WHAT HE HAS BEEN REFINING
I was sitting in church on a recent Sunday morning, right before we took communion, and they shared a verse on the screen.
As I began to lean into it, the Holy Spirit laid something on my heart.
This happens to me often. I will have something planned for the podcast, and then He rearranges all of it.
He spoke to my heart and said this: I want you to share with my people how I have refined you.
Here is the part I want you to hear.
What the Holy Spirit has been refining is not only me.
He has been refining the way I serve you.
I started this podcast four years ago because I heard His voice telling me to start. He gave me the very next step, and that is how this works. That is how it works for me, and that is how it works for you.
At the beginning, the only podcasts I had ever been exposed to were interview shows. So that is what I thought I was supposed to do.
Then the Holy Spirit began showing me things in His Word.
And it became, oh, I have to share this with them too, Lord. I cannot hold this in.
That is still true. When I learn something I believe is going to help you on your grief journey, I cannot hold it in.
What I have learned, though, is that your heart cannot hold it all at one time.
So the show became mainly a monologue. And you may have noticed the episodes have gotten a little shorter.
That is intentional. I know shorter is what you can manage right now.
WHY I CANNOT DO THIS ON MY OWN — AND NEITHER CAN YOU
Here is something He taught me early in my grief journey.
He helped me see how little control I actually have. And that is frightening when you first realize it.
We think we are in control right up until the moment grief comes knocking on our door. And then we see how little control we ever really had.
That is a pivotal moment in our grief journeys.
Because when we realize we are not in control, it creates a wealth of emotions and feelings we do not know how to manage. And it can take us into the darkness.
What the Holy Spirit has refined in me is to help bring light into your journey. To give you the tools and the ways and the means to process what you are feeling and understand what those emotions mean.
Our culture will not do that for us. It does not serve us well in this.
You hear me say it all the time. We need to learn to grieve God’s way.
There are many things out there that will help you. But only God’s Word and His ways will lead to the springs of living water.
Serving is demanding. That is just the truth. This is my heart and my passion, and I want to do exactly what I am doing.
But if the foundation is not in place, it will crumble — just like the house built on sand when the storms came in the book of Matthew.
My cup is filled by the Word of God. There is no doubt about that.
I could do none of this without Him. He is the vine, I am the branch.
But I also needed people with skin on to help me do this well.
I’ve had mentors and coaches that the Holy Spirit has used in my life to help me build that foundation.
So when I tell you that I cannot do this on my own, here is what I want you to understand.
When I try to do it in my own strength, I come to the end of me.
And when you try to walk your grief journey in your own strength, you will come to the end of you.
You cannot grieve the death of your child well on your own.
You were never created to be on grief island, isolated.
We were created for community.
WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE
So let me answer the question plainly.
It begins right here, with the podcast.
This is where the relationship starts. Two episodes a week, Tuesday and Saturday.
Most people in the grief space do not produce two episodes a week. But one episode a week is sometimes just not enough.
And weekends are hard, are they not? That is why Saturday exists — even if it is only ten minutes, just to give you a little bump to get through the weekend when all the family things are happening and you feel alone and left out and unseen.
Your next step is Calming the Chaos.
I created it just for you. Three hours of teaching split into ten sessions, with a solid workbook right behind it.
This is the groundwork. It prepares your heart. It helps you understand your emotions and your feelings, and then go deeper to find out what is driving them, so you can begin putting into place what you need to grieve well and live again.
Remember those blind spots? This is where we turn the light on.
And it is self-paced. There is no schedule to keep. It will meet you right where you are, in your own timing.
Then comes The Grief Roadmap.
This is my signature program. It is where we get deep into the weeds, and where I teach you everything that has been created to serve you well.
I have traditionally released it twice a year, in late winter and in the fall.
You may have noticed I did not release it this fall to new students.
If that disappointed you, stay with me for a minute — because The Grief Roadmap is not going away. Just the opposite. It got deeper.
The moms who have come through this program told me the same thing over and over. Teresa, twelve weeks is just not enough.
So I spent a considerable amount of time praying about it. How do I serve everyone?
What I learned from them changed how I structured the program going forward.
The Grief Roadmap is now a two phase program.
When you come into The Grief Roadmap, we spend sixteen weeks together. Twelve weeks of me walking side by side with you, with content released weekly that we walk through as a community.
The Roadmap returns in late winter of 2027. If you are not on the waitlist, I encourage you to join it. That is how you will know the dates the moment I have them.
And then, if you choose it, the Alumni Continuation.
Alumni means you have gone through the foundation The Grief Roadmap provides.
That foundation matters, because those first sixteen weeks are what set you up to grieve well and grieve God’s way.
At the end of your sixteen weeks, you will have the option to continue with me through the rest of the year. It is a choice, not a requirement. If you finish and you feel ready to walk on your own, that is okay.
But if you want to go deeper, that door is open.
One of my students told me recently that someone asked her what we do in those meetings.
It is so foreign, isn’t it? People who are not walking this path just do not understand it.
So here is what we do.
Together, we lament and pray. We support each other and bear one another’s burdens, just like we are called to do in the Word of God.
We are sister warrior praying friends.
That is what we do.
GOD IS LIGHT
Let me take you back to that Sunday morning, because I have not told you the verse yet.
When I was reading it before communion, there was a lot of waterworks going on. Because I felt the Holy Spirit say to me, Teresa, this is your mission statement for The Grief Mentor.
This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all.
So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth.
But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.
— 1 John 1:5-7, NLT
Light.
The podcast — bringing light twice a week into the darkest days of your week.
Calming the Chaos — bringing light into feelings and emotions you cannot understand or process, so you can see what is underneath them.
The Roadmap — walking beside you as you learn to grieve God’s way.
The Alumni Continuation — continuing in fellowship with each other, bearing one another’s burdens, going deeper.
When Andrew went to heaven, I was in darkness. Deep darkness. I was confused and disoriented — all the things you may be feeling right now.
But when God’s light began to shine into my life, it changed everything.
That is the mission He has given me. To help the mom whose heart is so broken she cannot see life without her child. To help her see the compassion God has for her right in the middle of the confusion, the disorientation, the bewilderment — when she does not even know how to breathe anymore, and tears are all she has.
In order to live in the light, we must invite Him into our pain.
He has called me to share my journey with you so you can see there is a way forward, even when it feels impossible right now.
So you can see His compassion, even when you see God as your enemy.
I get it.
This is what He has called me to do, for such a time as this..
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
If these words have met you where you are today — there is more waiting for you in this week’s episode.
🎙 Episode 317: Grieving Mom, Where Do You Go From Here? Child Loss Support
Four years into The Grief Mentor Podcast, I am taking you behind the scenes to share who The Grief Mentor is today, how the way I serve grieving moms has been refined, and exactly what that means for where you go next.
Next Steps
✨ Calming the Chaos
If you have been listening to the podcast and you are ready to go deeper, Calming the Chaos is your next step.
This self-paced program helps you slow down and begin understanding the feelings and emotions that surface in grief — and uncover what may be happening underneath them.
Through 10 teachings and guided workbooks, I will help you shine light into the blind spots of your grief so you can better understand what is happening in your heart and mind and begin learning how to grieve God’s way and live again.
There is no schedule to keep. Begin when you are ready and work at your own pace, right where you are in your grief journey.
With care and prayer,
Teresa Davis
A Note About The Grief Roadmap
While my heart hurts for grieving dads and grandmothers, The Grief Roadmap was created specifically to serve grieving moms who are learning to live after the death of a child.
I know the need for support reaches far beyond mothers. If you are a grieving dad, grandmother, or someone else grieving the death of someone you love, I invite you to explore Calming the Chaos, which is available to you.
